one year today!

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one year today!

Post by April » December 7th, 2005, 6:01 am

Hi evryone,

Well I did it I made it through a year with my ICD. As I reflect on this year it still amazes me how this little object has quietly changed my life. I say quielty because after seeing a therapist for the first time in my life (for the first 4 months), gaining so much support on sites like these, even meeting with others at support groups, I still wake up every morning and think about my ICD and think about it every night before I go to bed. I am not saying it is negative thoughts, it is just always there. I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was last year on 12/6. There always seems to be this quiet wonder, will I set off the security at the library again (oh yes I did), as I go to work (in my car all day as a sales person) will I be safe, as I drive with my small child please god do not let this thing zap me and now 14 weeks pregnant. So different then my first pregnancy, letters from the EP and Cardio to my OB, questions on weather to turn off the ICD or keep it on during delivery. Lots of new decisions for me and my docs to make. I am happy to say that I trust them all to guide me through.
Please know I am not complaining or whining, just reflecting out loud. I do know that I am now protected and safe to see my children and hopefully some day my grand children grow up, this little object has quietly changed the way I go about my every day but it's good to be able to go about the every day!

Thanks for all the support this year, through your answers to me and to others on this board I have learned so much and never really feel that alone. I always know where to go for knowledge fom others who share at least one small thing in common.

Good health to all,


Post by marian » December 7th, 2005, 8:58 am

Dear April,
What an upbeat letter...and there is more. You actually will come to a time that you won't think about the icd every night or morning and when you do think about it, more than likely the thoughts will be of gratefulness and even awe that we live in a time as this. Congratulations are in order for you and your tiny one. So much to look forward to. Your post will encourage many, thank you for sharing.


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Post by ruthy » December 7th, 2005, 9:38 am

HI APRIL , I FELT THE SAME WAY FOR AWHILE .but now i don't even think of it , i am suppose to check mine with a magnet every day , and i have to be reminded ,we are to fortunate to have these little angels i call them , it will get better , i was afraid to drive , but have now just got over it , i feel i am just as good on the roads , as anyone with out one . So enjoy your life , this board has really helped me too , i am so happy to have you all . BE HAPPY , HUGS ~ Ruthy :) GOOD HEALTH TOO YOU ,!!

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.


Post by Allen » December 7th, 2005, 11:09 am

Hello April.

You, my dear, are the same beautiful person you were 1 year ago, just have a little hardware there to protect you. Let me know in 5 more years if you still think about it.

Congrats on the pregnancy, whatta U want, a boy or girl? Or one of each????????????? Hell, how about 3 of em???????????? :roll:

Really, great post. We all think about it the first year or so, some of us longer. But it does go away. You hang in there now.

God bless and stay strong.


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Post by Helen » December 7th, 2005, 11:43 am

Dear April, I just wrote you a long mushy post and then lost it... :lol: :lol: so I'll just say Happy Anniversary.. I do remember when you first got your ICD and some e-mail we shared. You have inspired me this year with your courage. I am so happy that you are with us, and remember that we all get to share the baby. Love, Helen


Post by April » December 8th, 2005, 4:36 pm

Thank you guys for sharing in my reflections and once again providing me with words of wisdom and support that helps me get through it.

Allen- my son thinks he is having a sister and hopes he is, as for me and my husband we just want a heathy baby, safe delivery and good year ahead.

Helen- You have been an inspiration to me! Always full of happiness and always lending a kind word!

Ruthy and Marian- Thanks for sharing your stories with me, it helps to know I am not crazy to feel the way I do sometimes and in fact it is very normal!

Good Health to all,


Post by karslake » December 9th, 2005, 2:38 am

Congratulations, April, and I wish you a beautiful, healthy baby - as you say, it doesn't really matter if it is a boy or a girl. Health is the main consideration.

Love & all best wishes.
Eve & Blabbermouth 111

John C

1 year ICD

Post by John C » December 30th, 2005, 2:13 pm

Way to go April..... See you have a little Angel sitting there if needed.

When are you due? Hope all is going well and that you and yours had a

very Merry Christmas and have a sahe and Happy 2006 !!! With good

things to come.

John C Charlotte NC

1 month new (icd)

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Post by don » December 30th, 2005, 2:21 pm

Hi April

I'm ashamed that I missed your post when it was made, but belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You are one year old in your new life. May it be long and joyous.

Congratulations on the coming birth of another little miracle. Know that the ranks of women who have had successful births with an ICD is growing all the time.

I find myself thinking of my ICD at times such as this when I have recently made a trip to the hospital, but then the thoughts fade out as time goes by. I suspect it will be the same for you.

Happy birthday April.


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Post by Shelby » December 30th, 2005, 2:24 pm

Hi April,
I was on vacation when you originally posted this so I missed it. I know the uncertainty of which you speak but I promise you, there WILL come a day when you barely think of your ICD at all. Perhaps when you're getting zero sleep with your new one you'll be so exhausted there won't be room to think of the ICD ;).

Afraid to post here? Remember:
"Some people think only intellect counts...but the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy." ~Dean Koontz


Post by April » December 30th, 2005, 5:24 pm

Thanks Eve, Don John and Shelby for your addition to my post,

Shelby - Thanks for reminding me about the sleepless nights to come. I actually just started sleeping again since the implant and before that from my son who basically did not sleep untill he was 2, so I guess I know what to expect.

John- I am due the first week of June and I just can't wait. I am not one for surprises, so I will find out in two weeks what I am having!

Don - I have not read in a while and I will after this post so I am sure I will see what happened, but I am sorry to hear that you have been to the hospital recently, I hope you are doing well.

I hope everyone had a great Holiday season and a HEALTHY NEW YEAR to come. Thanks for a year of support and a great place to go to chat with friends!

Good Health to all!

Good Health to all!

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