OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Posts from Jan. 1, 2018 to the present. Plus important announcements. (ICD warning sounds)

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Ozchrissy
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OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by Ozchrissy » July 11th, 2018, 10:02 pm

I am at the stage with my heart disease where there is no excess energy and I am really having to cut back stuff that is not for me. Some of you may be aware that I am now living in an INDEPENDENT LIVING Complex. This good for me, I have my own Unit, the garden is done and I have a decent backyard for myself. I am also one of the youngest here. Because of this and the fact that I can walk ok without a wallker, a lot of the other residents don't realize I am probably just as sick or sicker than them. Subsequently when they need something or to be taken somewhere, I am the first one they call on. I have been alright with this, up until this last week or so.

I lost a lot of weight earlier this year with a virus. (5kg) I certainly wasn't overweight before I lost this weight, and now I am borderline underweight, as per BMI. I have had discussions with my cardiologist and GP about the fact that I cannot put on weight, and also that I have no energy. I even get really bad muscle pain when I overdo it, and by that I mean, one or two errands and then the supermarket. I can hardly walk when I finish it. The cardiologist gave me, (for the first time) the talk about how I am not going to improve and that my heart is in a pretty bad way. First time in 20 years he gave me this speel. The weight loss and the fact I cannot put it back on is his main reason. My test results are not good, but I have never had them good in years. My GP who is a sweety, just did the same, but gave me a very caring explanation of it all. My body is failing and not much that can be done about it. No explanation has been found for this wasting that occurs in last stage Heart Failure. I did walk out with permission to eat whatever I want, so went straight to the bakery and stocked up,

Ok so this is where the Grumpy old Woman comes in. I threw a hissy fit yesterday, I had spent the last 3 days running around after other residents and friends, but I had things I wanted to do but did not have the energy to do my stuff. I am now not in the good books with some of them, but hopefully I may have curbed the need for me to be the go to person for everything. I am now going to do my own thing, if I feel I can do something for someone else, then I will, but only if it suits me. I still haven't got my own INR done for a few weeks, because I haven't had the time or the energy to do so.

Fixing that today, but from now on it is going to be ME FIRST.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung

Diagnosed with cardiomyopathy in 10/99
LBBB & VT diagnosed Feb 06
Guidant Biventricular Pacer ICD inserted Feb 06: Boston Scientific Incepta CRT-D inserted May, 2012
Oesophageal Cancer, 2012, Gall Bladder & Septicemia 2014 resulting in VFib and severe heart damage
Bare Metal Stent May, 2012 Mitral Valve replaced 2015
Meds: Entresto, Bicard, Coralan, Eurtorxsiq, Frusehexl, Spiractin, Sigmaxin, Creon, Warfarin,
Appropriate Shocks for Ventricular VFib.

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Leah
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by Leah » July 11th, 2018, 11:33 pm

Chrissy- I’m sorry to hear about your heart troubles and other problems. What’s your EF? Are you on a lasix pill? I am on one. It gives me the craps every time I eat something. Didn’t have this problem when I was in the hospital with IV lasix. I can’t gain weight either. I’m 137lbs now since the pill. My clothes are too big.

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Ozchrissy
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by Ozchrissy » July 12th, 2018, 1:45 am

I am 119 lbs Leah and 5'7. I have been on Lasix since diagnosis and at the moment am taking 80 mg in the morning. This is just a progression of my cardiomyopathy and heart failure. I have had this for 20 years. Your symptoms would be that you have just lost excess fluid, and that is good. Normally when you first go on Lasix it is 20 mg, so you are doing fine. I have been in heart failure since diagnosis, my original ef was 18, I have been up and down with that ever since. My problem is that my poor little heart is not strong enough to beat properly and also there are problems of it filling as well.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung

Diagnosed with cardiomyopathy in 10/99
LBBB & VT diagnosed Feb 06
Guidant Biventricular Pacer ICD inserted Feb 06: Boston Scientific Incepta CRT-D inserted May, 2012
Oesophageal Cancer, 2012, Gall Bladder & Septicemia 2014 resulting in VFib and severe heart damage
Bare Metal Stent May, 2012 Mitral Valve replaced 2015
Meds: Entresto, Bicard, Coralan, Eurtorxsiq, Frusehexl, Spiractin, Sigmaxin, Creon, Warfarin,
Appropriate Shocks for Ventricular VFib.

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mykidsmom
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by mykidsmom » July 12th, 2018, 6:38 am

chrissie i think youve earned the right to be a grumpy 39 year old..i dont know why....but some people as they get older not only become grumpy..they become totally lazy....i had your experience a couple of years ago in hospital...this particular hospital didnt have very good nursing care on the floor i was stuck....and the grannys and granddads on the floor took one look at me and decided i was their best option for maid service....I was exhausted running around getting them stuff until one day the dr appeared and reamed them new A%%'s and told them to lay off that in fact i was sick..and in worse condition that any of them hehehe....your right to stop doing the service job..and dont feel guilty about it either..


I think every so often we have to stop what were doing or trying to do...and reassess our capabilities...specially someone as active as you..cos i know you push yourself..(prime example..you emerged from intensive care and two days later were off on a road trip to look after Lauren after her accident) you pull the "get up and go" from air i think....i know i do the same.. and after my winter of pushing death by the bum out the house, when a couple of weeks ago i started feeling better and got my mojo back i had to sit down one day and say helen...you really are not 39 you cant do 500 things a day like you used to...so you have to decided whats important to you.....and i did..it wasnt important to run ragged but it was important to keep somewhat moving doing a couple of things with ease...and now thats what i do..to use the expression i hate...."new normal" i think we have to find a new normal every so often and forgive ourselves for not being able to continue the race at 50 miles a min anymore..eat what you like and dont worry about not being able to do stuff for others...you'll always find a way to do stuff you need...

be as grumpy as you like..you earned the right..and feck the lazy neighbours.....love you.....x0
I think.....Therefore I am.!!!!!

DebW
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by DebW » July 12th, 2018, 7:56 am

You need to take care of you Chrissy. They need to understand that. YOU come first.
I have realized that I need to pick and choose my activities anymore, frustrating, but, it is what it is right now. At this point I haven't let it stop me from traveling. On Saturday I go to California with my grand daughter, she is 14 and will be taking a songwriting class and voice lessons. And we will be there for 2 weeks. I worry a little about having the energy to do all this,but, I am not gonna let it stop me. Not yet, anyway.
Your neighbors need to realize that you can't do everything, and if they don't, too bad. Take care of you! Sending big hugs and good thoughts your way.
:big-hug: :big-hug: :big-hug:

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TruckerRon
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by TruckerRon » July 12th, 2018, 10:24 am

Chrissy, this comes from Stephen Covey's book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:

Image

As it indicates, we need to focus on things that are truly important and not let merely "urgent" things distract us from doing what we need to do each day.
TruckerRon -- Received Minion I on 17 Sep 2009, Minion II on 26 Jan 2015

Non-ischemic cardiomyopathy
Medtronic Viva XT CRT-D
No shocks yet...
My intro is at: http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 099#p57099

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ROBO Pop
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by ROBO Pop » July 12th, 2018, 10:47 am

Geez Ron, you should be quoting to Chrissy from the book for Highly Defective People

Chrissy you may well find when you pull back that it really doesn't negatively impact your standing at the home. People will take advantage and push to the limit whenever possible but they know they've no right to expect you to be their personal servant. Stop worrying so much about perception and go with how you feel, just use care not to let any favors get out of control. Bad comes to worse, tell them you know Mrag
Broken Heart
Nobody has ever survived life, but I'm trying...
My story and sticking to it
http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 97&p=91375

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TruckerRon
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by TruckerRon » July 12th, 2018, 12:30 pm

ROBO Pop wrote:
July 12th, 2018, 10:47 am
Geez Ron, you should be quoting to Chrissy from the book for Highly Defective People
Do you mean this one?

Image
TruckerRon -- Received Minion I on 17 Sep 2009, Minion II on 26 Jan 2015

Non-ischemic cardiomyopathy
Medtronic Viva XT CRT-D
No shocks yet...
My intro is at: http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 099#p57099

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Ozchrissy
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by Ozchrissy » July 12th, 2018, 7:16 pm

Today is the first day of getting used to my "New Normal", as Helen said. I think I have been in denial, but got myself in such a personal state, that it boiled over. I think we all have to adjust to our limitations and as everyone has said, I am now starting to prioritise. And unfortunately today is housework. kick butt kick butt

I have been doing this since 1999 so you think I should be experienced at this stuff by now, but I still find it frustrating. Ask me about it in a couple of weeks and I will have forgotten I felt like this, but I also know my activity level will have changed, but I will be at ease with it all. I will have established my new normal.

I was a bit scared this morning coming in here, I expected the big kick butt punisher from Robbo, but got good solid advice as usual. Thanks everyone.

Oh and great news today, my daughter Lauren who broke her neck in a car accident 3 months ago, gets her Brace off today. She has a lot of metal in her neck, but the main thing is she can now start building up the muscles in her neck and hopefully get back to normal. Cause for celebration in the Arnott household today.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung

Diagnosed with cardiomyopathy in 10/99
LBBB & VT diagnosed Feb 06
Guidant Biventricular Pacer ICD inserted Feb 06: Boston Scientific Incepta CRT-D inserted May, 2012
Oesophageal Cancer, 2012, Gall Bladder & Septicemia 2014 resulting in VFib and severe heart damage
Bare Metal Stent May, 2012 Mitral Valve replaced 2015
Meds: Entresto, Bicard, Coralan, Eurtorxsiq, Frusehexl, Spiractin, Sigmaxin, Creon, Warfarin,
Appropriate Shocks for Ventricular VFib.

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mykidsmom
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by mykidsmom » July 13th, 2018, 7:40 am

Good girl chrissie...see i knew youd pull yourself out of this slump.....its how you always deal with things....realize they are happening..have a little whine and then get on with pulling yourself into the frame of mind to deal with the issues...isnt this always the way we do things lol...but remember.....the only person whos allowed put pressure on you..is you...then you'll be amazed at really how much your actually doing....I have OCD with housework...but if i learned anything thro this winter its the fact that things dont have to be perfect....nor do they have to be fixed immediately....i throw things out..willie hoards...so we balance each other..but locked in the basement i didnt find out exactly what he hoarded till i got upstairs again mid april lol.....some of the drawers dont want to close theyre stuffed with so much shit...but i took a deep breath and decided...i will work thro them slowly and thats what im doing...a year ago id have been up 24hrs straight running around getting them all fixed in that time period lol...this is my new normal hahaha and my heart likes it..

so glad little lauren is on the mend...this girlie is the cut of her mother lol....im just hoping she wont be left with residual pain.....give her a huge hug from us..
I think.....Therefore I am.!!!!!

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mykidsmom
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by mykidsmom » July 13th, 2018, 8:26 am

DebW wrote:
July 12th, 2018, 7:56 am
You need to take care of you Chrissy. They need to understand that. YOU come first.
I have realized that I need to pick and choose my activities anymore, frustrating, but, it is what it is right now. At this point I haven't let it stop me from traveling. On Saturday I go to California with my grand daughter, she is 14 and will be taking a songwriting class and voice lessons. And we will be there for 2 weeks. I worry a little about having the energy to do all this,but, I am not gonna let it stop me. Not yet, anyway.
Your neighbors need to realize that you can't do everything, and if they don't, too bad. Take care of you! Sending big hugs and good thoughts your way.
:big-hug: :big-hug: :big-hug:
Good luck Deb and enjoy your trip with your granddaughter.....you will make memories with her that will last her lifetime....dont worry about the energy....it'll happen...and you know something kids are very forgiving and although theyve bundles of energy they like their downtime too lol.......so there wont be much stress..and stress is the killer of energy lol....i had grandson #1 here last week....hes 15 and i was worried a bit about entertaining him but know what...he goes with the flow lol...and after hed gone home last weekend..i realized jez helen you actually did a lot lol...but the operative word was...stressfree....he didnt inflict any and i didnt make any lol..so it was win win.....have a great time with your girl......hugs
I think.....Therefore I am.!!!!!

DebW
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by DebW » July 13th, 2018, 8:38 am

Thank you Helen. yes, it will be a time to make memories!! And the energy will come
:big-hug: :big-hug: :big-hug:

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ROBO Pop
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by ROBO Pop » July 13th, 2018, 9:50 am

DebW wrote:
July 13th, 2018, 8:38 am
Thank you Helen. yes, it will be a time to make memories!! And the energy will come
:big-hug: :big-hug: :big-hug:
word on the street is that you left Mrag in charge during your 2 week abstinence...lord help us, I think "it" finally froze over :freez:
Broken Heart
Nobody has ever survived life, but I'm trying...
My story and sticking to it
http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 97&p=91375

DebW
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Joined: July 23rd, 2016, 6:23 pm

Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by DebW » July 13th, 2018, 12:10 pm

Hahaha, funny ROBO. But, I am bringing my computer with me and will be able to keep up with my duties =)
wavhi wavhi wavhi

Poppy
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Re: OT: I am the grumpy old woman

Post by Poppy » July 15th, 2018, 3:22 am

Hi Crissy I do admire you for your courage, and pray that you will find fresh strength and enjoy your Grand daughter. You have certainly brought me down to earth and made me realise that I must stop thinking about my own ailments, think of others and what they are going through.

Cheers, Poppy.

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