WARNING. OT. SO A PIRATE WALKED INTO A BAR...

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DowneasTTer
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WARNING. OT. SO A PIRATE WALKED INTO A BAR...

Post by DowneasTTer » June 10th, 2018, 12:45 pm

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird droppings."

"It was my first day with the hook.”
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mykidsmom
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Re: WARNING. OT. SO A PIRATE WALKED INTO A BAR...

Post by mykidsmom » June 10th, 2018, 1:24 pm

tahdahh tahdahh tahdahh tahdahh tahdahh
I think.....Therefore I am.!!!!!

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TruckerRon
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Re: WARNING. OT. SO A PIRATE WALKED INTO A BAR...

Post by TruckerRon » June 10th, 2018, 4:24 pm

Minister used this one in church:

A guy was walking along the beach, found a bottle, and picked it up. A magical genie popped out and said, "Thanks for letting me out. For your kindness I will grant you one wish."

The guy said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I can't because I'm afraid to fly and ships make me deathly sick. My wish is for you to build a highway from here to Hawaii."

The genie replied, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Think of the huge pilings we would need to hold up that highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. And think of all the cement that would be needed. Plus, since it's such a long span, there would have to be gas stations and rest stops along the way. No, that's just too much to ask. Impossible. Think of another wish."

The guy thought for a moment and said, "Well, there is one thing I've always wanted to know. I'd like to be able to understand women - what makes them laugh and cry, why are they so temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with ...you know, what makes them tick?"

The genie thought for a second, then asked, "Do you want that highway with two lanes or four?"
TruckerRon -- Received Minion I on 17 Sep 2009, Minion II on 26 Jan 2015

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ROBO Pop
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Re: WARNING. OT. SO A PIRATE WALKED INTO A BAR...

Post by ROBO Pop » June 11th, 2018, 10:22 am

DowneasTTer wrote:
June 10th, 2018, 12:45 pm
..."You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird droppings."

"It was my first day with the hook.”
come on share the rest of the joke ...you know, the part about splinters in the derriere lmao4dx
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http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 97&p=91375

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