O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

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KansasAl
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by KansasAl » January 11th, 2018, 10:17 pm

TruckerRon wrote:
January 11th, 2018, 1:14 pm
ROBO Pop wrote:
January 11th, 2018, 12:18 pm
Knock knock...
Who's there?
TR,
Don't you hate it when some punk knocks at the door and runs away.

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Ozchrissy
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by Ozchrissy » January 12th, 2018, 7:11 am

lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx
lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung

Diagnosed with cardiomyopathy in 10/99
LBBB & VT diagnosed Feb 06
Guidant Biventricular Pacer ICD inserted Feb 06: Boston Scientific Incepta CRT-D inserted May, 2012
Oesophageal Cancer, 2012, Gall Bladder & Septicemia 2014 resulting in VFib and severe heart damage
Bare Metal Stent May, 2012 Mitral Valve replaced 2015
Meds: Entresto, Bicard, Coralan, Eurtorxsiq, Frusehexl, Spiractin, Sigmaxin, Creon, Warfarin,
Appropriate Shocks for Ventricular VFib.

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tip
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by tip » January 12th, 2018, 6:12 pm

a three leged dog walks into a saloon, the bartender looks up and say can I help you? Dog: I"M looking for the feller that shot my paw lmao4dx :::)
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blueraider
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by blueraider » January 12th, 2018, 9:05 pm

There was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!

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TruckerRon
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by TruckerRon » January 13th, 2018, 12:54 am

I can copy and paste puns as well as the next guy:

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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ROBO Pop
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by ROBO Pop » January 13th, 2018, 3:40 pm

My engineering professor in college asked why we were there, what motivated us. I'll never forget a friend stating quite ernestly that he wanted to make life better for his tribe. He's a member of the Yaqui indian tribe.

Sadly he passed recently, but in reading his obituary I realized he had achieved his dream. Seems with his electrical engineering degree in hand he went back home.

During his first night he had to use the outhouse and it was so dark outside he walked into a barrel cactus. He immediately knew what the first thing he would do was and the next morning started to work stringing wires and installing lights at the outside toilet.

Thats right, he became the first Native American to wire a head for reservations.
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ROBO Pop
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by ROBO Pop » January 13th, 2018, 3:42 pm

Knock knock...
Broken Heart
Nobody has ever survived life, but I'm trying...
My story and sticking to it
http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 97&p=91375

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KansasAl
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by KansasAl » January 13th, 2018, 3:56 pm

Knock knock...



Would you look at that Robo...we're a pair of knockers!

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wen
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by wen » January 14th, 2018, 9:45 pm

Why did the yogurt go to the museum?. . . . . . Because it was cultured!

Why did the bicycle fall over?. . . . . Because it was too tired!

What did the evil chicken lay?. . . . Deviled eggs!
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TruckerRon
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by TruckerRon » January 15th, 2018, 12:29 am

Image
TruckerRon -- Received Minion I on 17 Sep 2009, Minion II on 26 Jan 2015

Non-ischemic cardiomyopathy
Medtronic Viva XT CRT-D
No shocks yet...
My intro is at: http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 099#p57099

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TruckerRon
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by TruckerRon » January 15th, 2018, 12:41 am

Don’t Touch

An elderly Mexican lived close to Los Angeles for more than thirty five years.

He would have loved to plant carrots in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.

His son is in college in Rome, so the old man sends him an e-mail.

He explains the problem: “My Dear Son, I am very sad, because I can’t plant carrots in my garden. I am sure, if you were here, you could help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father.”

The following day, the old man receives an e-mail from his son: “Beloved Father, please don’t touch the garden. It’s there that I have hidden ‘the THING’. I love you, too, Rodrigo”

At 3pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can’t find anything. They disappointed and left the house.

Next day, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. “Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your carrots. That’s all I could do for you from here. I love you, Rodrigo.”
TruckerRon -- Received Minion I on 17 Sep 2009, Minion II on 26 Jan 2015

Non-ischemic cardiomyopathy
Medtronic Viva XT CRT-D
No shocks yet...
My intro is at: http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 099#p57099

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luvmydogs
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by luvmydogs » January 16th, 2018, 8:16 am

What did the red light say to the green light? Don't look I'm changing.

What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

What do ducks wear to weddings? Duxedos.

Why should you not write with a dull pencil? It's pointless.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.

Stolen from NFL bad joke telling video.....
Joanne (aka Jo)

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mrag
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by mrag » January 17th, 2018, 1:44 pm

If you can pass this test, you too will be eligible to launch nuclear armed ballistic missiles. No cheating. I'm not sure where we should mail finished tests or results.
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Ozchrissy
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by Ozchrissy » January 19th, 2018, 6:33 pm

lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx lmao4dx

What a way to start the day, with good belly laughs. Can't think of a joke, but really appreciate these. Well done Luvmydogs. wavhi wavhi
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung

Diagnosed with cardiomyopathy in 10/99
LBBB & VT diagnosed Feb 06
Guidant Biventricular Pacer ICD inserted Feb 06: Boston Scientific Incepta CRT-D inserted May, 2012
Oesophageal Cancer, 2012, Gall Bladder & Septicemia 2014 resulting in VFib and severe heart damage
Bare Metal Stent May, 2012 Mitral Valve replaced 2015
Meds: Entresto, Bicard, Coralan, Eurtorxsiq, Frusehexl, Spiractin, Sigmaxin, Creon, Warfarin,
Appropriate Shocks for Ventricular VFib.

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Ozchrissy
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Re: O/T Stupid corny jokes for Freckles

Post by Ozchrissy » January 19th, 2018, 6:36 pm

OK I just did a big cheat, and just copy and pasted these "DAD" jokes. A Dad joke is an embarrassingly bad joke, often read through the eyes of a dads lack of comedy. Brave yourself through our awfully bad list of dad jokes.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
How does a penguin build it's house? Igloos it together.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
Ill call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant
Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
The rotation of earth really makes my day.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung

Diagnosed with cardiomyopathy in 10/99
LBBB & VT diagnosed Feb 06
Guidant Biventricular Pacer ICD inserted Feb 06: Boston Scientific Incepta CRT-D inserted May, 2012
Oesophageal Cancer, 2012, Gall Bladder & Septicemia 2014 resulting in VFib and severe heart damage
Bare Metal Stent May, 2012 Mitral Valve replaced 2015
Meds: Entresto, Bicard, Coralan, Eurtorxsiq, Frusehexl, Spiractin, Sigmaxin, Creon, Warfarin,
Appropriate Shocks for Ventricular VFib.

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